Loaded schedules, long days, and lack of tracking.

I am starting to weigh myself too much. It is not as much as an obsessive thing as it is curiosity to see how my weight fluctuates at all hours. I find that I am my lightest around noon, heaviest late at night. I need to make sure that this doesn't get obsessive about my weight, and I am hoping that once the weight loss has slowed down a little and become a regular phenomenon, it will not be as much of a fascination.

 This week is going to be crazy. Like, really freaking nuts. It's GISHWHES (Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen) this week, so I am officially running around trying to complete super weird tasks. It is an event that has been going on every August for 7 years, I believe. It raises money and awareness for Random Acts of Kindness. This is my 5th year, and every year ends up with the same hectic and excited energy. Along with the Hunt, I work at 3 barns, take care of 2 dogs, have a dentist appointment, saddle fitter appointment, I pet sit for my parents in Clinton, and am running to NYC on the 13th for Ingrid Michaelson's last show and back the same night to care for my parent's animals again. But it'll be worth it. 

I am becoming a little too liberal with my carb intake. I can feel myself slipping a little, and definitely need to make sure I don't let it go too far. I had 2 bites of toast with my lunch of a huge omelette, and have been having a handful of fairly low-carb (13g net carbs/quarter cup) granola to give my morning yogurt a little boost. I'm not measuring or counting like I should, and it's surely a slippery slope. Luckily, the scale isn't showing that I am being more lenient, but it is far too easy to fall back into my old habits. I am afraid that I will blindly, gradually stop really caring. It's happened many times before. I need to get over this hurdle of not relying on carbs and sugars. I need to make this new way of living a concrete habit that will feel weird to break. This is not to say that I am going crazy. I still am being pretty good with portion sizes. My hunger isn't nearly as controlling as it once was. I am now at the point where I actually feel my hunger instead of constantly being full from overeating and grazing. Before, I would have a HUGE, refillable bowl of cereal in the mornings, loaded with hidden sugars, and not think twice of it. That need for sugar when I wake up is still there. Sometimes, it is a little louder and I give in and have a vegan, non-GMO, gluten free, etc cookie that contains 8g of carbs to start off the morning. This is another habit I need to break but am hoping as my addiction ebbs, the nagging need for sugar first thing in the morning will help me not even want that cookie.

I work up a sweat (not like that's hard for me, let's be honest) at least once a day while working on 1-3 farms and dog walking. It isn't as much cardio as I need, but going to the gym after working outside in the humidity just sounds horrible and I have been avoiding it. It is something I really need to do, though.

*Tonight, I got home late--around 10-- because riding Seamus caused me to be late to the drafts, where there were 2 dead animals (bird and wild rabbit) I had to clean up after, which then made me late for the Thoroughbreds. It was a little bit of a fiasco, and the draft barn was hard tonight. I seemingly won (lost, really) the dead animal lottery at that barn tonight. Occasionally the cat brings in mice that I will kind of turn the other cheek and dispose of, but the rabbit was very difficult and unexpected. It was bloody and I had to get the bleach out. It was the part of my day I struggled with. It fell under the "shit I have to do for my job that I REALLY don't want to do/didn't think I could stomach doing but I grit my teeth and did it". I am honestly very glad I work for a vet during moments like that, in terms of asking how I should handle it. 

Dinner tonight was very late, but it was another night of Banza pasta (seriously, Banza, sponsor me) in macaroni form with broccoli. It tastes like traditional pasta and although it's fairly high in carbs (20+g/serving), it is also loaded with protein and fiber that makes up for it. Shoutout to Spencer for telling me about this stuff. It makes me feel like I am not at all deprived, and it really fills me up.